Trailer Tuesday: 28 Days Later

Would You Save Your Pets During the Zombie Apocalypse?

Would you save your pets in a zombie apocalypse?

This idea was generated by reader comments on my post about the zombie movie references in "The Passing," the most recent DLC for Left 4 Dead 2.

In Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake, it's made clear that zombies have no interest in animals. Unlike the zombies in, say, David Wellington's Monster Island (review) that eat anything alive, Snyder's zombies can't tell a dog from a hot dog. They just don't care.

So, my question for you zombies fans: During a zombie apocalypse in which the zombies pose not immediate threat to your pets, would you still attempt to save them?  Let me know!


On the topic of animals, check out my video: 5 Best Zombie Animals

Survival of the Dead: VOD Premiere on Friday 4/30

SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD (review) is available on VOD, XBOX Live, Playstation and Amazon this Friday 4/30 and in theatres on 5/28.

Check out the green band trailer for SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD

Spooky Bill's "Pathophysiology of the Living Dead"

If you haven't yet heard of it, let me introduce you to "Pathophysiology of the Living Dead," a series of web-videos dealing with the biological science of zombies! Hosted and produced by Spooky Bill, Pathophysiology tackles one of my favorite topics: real-world science applied to the explanation of fictional zombies. Embedded below you will find the first episode and the series promo. Check out the rest of the videos over at potld.blogspot.com or youtube.com/user/PotLD

'Dead Rising 2' Combo Weapons Guide

MTV's video game blog has posted a list of the combo weapons players can expect to create in Capcom's upcoming Dead Rising 2

Among the uniquer weapons, players will be able to create an Electric Rake (Car Battery + Rake), Dynameat (Human Hand + TNT), and Heliblade (Toy Helicopter + Machete).

Check out MTV Multiplayer for the full list of descriptions.

L4D2 - "The Passing" Graffiti Easter Eggs

Observant zombie fans may have noticed some zombie-related Easter Eggs in the latest DLC for Left 4 Dead 2, "The Passing"

"The Passing," released yesterday, gives players the thrill of seeing the Left 4 Dead 2 cast interact with the classic team from the first Left 4 Dead. In the second level of "The Passing," you find yourself in a room with a pool table. Zombie fanatics probably won't help but notice that the graffiti on the wall is full of references to other zombie films and video games.

Otis, 
Out of film, no helicopter. Zombies are too fast. Not going to make it.
Frank West

Frank West is the hero character of Capcom's Dead Rising game. West spends the whole game fending off zombies in a mall while waiting for Otis the pilot to come back in his helicopter and rescue him.

EDIT: Otis, as reader Paul correctly puts it, "was the janitor that wouldn't shut the hell up over the radio"

Went to save my dog. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes everyone drop everything and come save me
Nicole

A reference to the character of Nicole in Zack Snyder's remake of Dawn of the Dead and the completely ridiculous scenario that sees Nicole crash a delivery truck into the gun store while trying to save her dog, Chips.

Ed is King of the Zombies

I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Shaun of the Dead in which Ed asks Shaun, "Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?"

REPENT. THE END IS EXTREMELY FUCKING NIGH 

 Reference to wall graffiti seen in 28 Days Later

Roger
Went to mall
Francine

Roger and Francine are both characters in Romero's original Dawn of the Dead

Looking for an M60? Come see me.
Crazy Dave

Crazy Dave is a character in PopCap Games' highly popular Plants vs. Zombies . In the game, Crazy Dave sells you items to help keep the zombies off your lawn.

The Zombie / Virus Connection

Although I've been known to voice my boredom in response to the overwhelming number of unoriginal films these days that present zombiism as spread by viral infection, there's one truth I cannot deny. The zombie / virus connection is a perfect thematic match. Other than the virus, no other force on the planet is so like the walking undead as envisioned by Romero and his followers.

First of all, scientists cannot conclusively agree on whether viruses are living organisms. Like zombies, they appear to act like living organisms but lack the internal mechanisms of living things. For example, when a virus is dormant, it shows no biological activity. We can liken this (unscientifically, of course) to a corpse in the ground. It's made of organic parts, but it's not alive. When a virus comes into contact with a host, it is activated and displays behaviors and properties we would liken to those of living organisms, such as reacting to its environment and self-replicating (1). The zombie too comes out of its dormant state to walk and feed and create more zombies. The striking thing, however, is that although both the virus and zombie act like living organisms they don't have the inner-workings of typical living organisms. For example, the virus is more like a chemical machine than living thing:

... a virus consists of nucleic acids (DNA or RNA) enclosed in a protein coat that may also shelter viral proteins involved in infection. By that description, a virus seems more like a chemistry set than an organism. But when a virus enters a cell (called a host after infection), it is far from inactive. It sheds its coat, bares its genes and induces the cell’s own replication machinery to reproduce the intruder’s DNA or RNA and manufacture more viral protein based on the instructions in the viral nucleic acid. (2)

Likewise, the zombie appears to act like a living organism, but based on our definitions of life it shouldn't be alive. A zombie goes on "living" without blood, without taking nourishment from its food, without oxygen, and in some films even without a brain. The true terror of the zombie is that it should not be. In many ways, the virus is the same. Viruses and zombies are scary because they blur the distinction between biology and chemistry as well as living and non-living. Exploring the zombie and virus leads us to question the definition of "life." For being potentially non-living constructs, viruses can evolve and have a powerful effect on the world. So can zombies. I think it was Max Brooks who once said zombie are essentially viruses walking around in human skin, and he's right.

A second reason the zombie / virus connection is so apt is that both zombies and viruses point out humanity's keen ability to engineer its own destruction. Since the zombie is not natural, it has to be caused by an outside force (explained or unexplained). Sometimes its magical, sometimes its vaguely scientific (as with a toxin or man-made virus). In most zombie films where the cause is explained, it tends to be due to humans messing around with nature. A virus, on the other hand, is natural, but due to its chemical structure can be easily engineered by humans. Powerful viruses and other biological weapons are becoming increasingly easy to produce in the laboratory, so many zombie franchises, such as Resident Evil, have picked up on this idea to fictionalize an apocalyptic outcome: a virus that reduces humanity to violent zombies. On the literal level of plot this makes sense, but on a deeper thematic level it’s even more profound. In the real world, a virus destroys its host from the inside. It invades, infects, replicates, and causes damage internally by turning the body’s mechanisms against itself. Meanwhile, in fictional zombie films, the threat is often not the zombies themselves but the human survivor’s tendency to turn on one another. They snipe at one another, backbite, and work against one another. If we think of the human survivors as cells in the body of humanity, they are not working harmoniously. Their immune system is weak. They leave opportunities for the virus – the zombies – to creep in and infect the body. Yet, when a virus invades a cell, it isn’t causing anything to happen that the body’s not already capable of doing. It just uses those mechanisms for its own replication. Similarly, zombies do not cause people to be greedy, petty, or violent. The stress applied on people by the threat of zombies simply brings to the surface the ugly side of humanity that is already there, exposing gaps in the human condition through which the social body can be infected and reduced to its base function: to kill and feed and replicate. In films where the zombie apocalypse is man-made, the meaning is doubly important. Not only have we created our own destruction at the hands of a man-made virus, but what the virus turns us into (or how it prompts people to act) is already a reflection of our darker nature.

The Revenant Screening Dates

The official blog for undead film The Revenant has posted upcoming dates for screenings of this very funny and very wild film. I had the chance to see it at the After Dark Film Festival and loved it. I called The Revenant the The Reanimator of this decade! (REVIEW)

Check it out if you're attending any of these upcoming events:

A Night of Horrors Film Festival: April 15-23, 2010

Screening Dates: April 21

28th Annual Annual Minneapolis Film Festival: April 15-29, 2010

Screening Dates: April 24 @ 11:15 P.M. and April 26 @ 9:15 P.M.

Texas Frightmare Weekend: April 30-May 2

Screening Dates: TBA

Trailer Tuesday: The Horde (La horde)

I'm really excited for this one. in La Horde, cops and gangsters must work together when beset upon by a ravenous horde of the undead. Looks like they managed to create some marvelous looking horde sequences. Magnifique!

Upcoming Zombie Movies

Yes, I know the blog's been a little slow these past few weeks. I apologize, but work has turned me into something of a zombie. While I was mindlessly shambling around, news I wanted to share with you of some upcoming indie zombie movies came across my desk.

First is the release of the teaser trailer for Zombified, which claims to combine the slasher and zombie genre.

Friends Angel and Tommy have kept a deadly secret that has tormented them for 13 years. When Angel receives word from the band, Kill Order, that their fans, including her husband Brad, have mysteriously turned into vicious zombies, she and Tommy must face their fears to help save their friends. But things become more complicated when lead singer Alana is attacked by a twisted killer who seems to have control over the zombies. Even worse, he knows the secret and the bodies are adding up.

Next up is our first intriguing look at the film Revelation Trail. This collaborative film is set during an American zombie uprising in America in the late 19th century. I love this sneak-peek trailer. If the rest of the film is as intriguing and character-driven, I'll definitely be interested in seeing it.

And finally, the brashly titled For the Bitch. A small team of special forces troops attempts to kill the Queen behind a horde of evolved, adaptive zombies. Is there an actual story here or just an action / special effects demo reel for Hot Head Productions? We'll have to wait and see.

For the Bitch official trailer from Hot Head Productions on Vimeo.

Trailer Tuesday: Opstandelsen (subtitled)

Brain Picking: Interview with Creators of Zombie Roomie

INTERVIEW with JOHN WIGGER 

and BILL MOFIELD

(creators Zombie Roomie web comic)

What would you do if you woke up to find a zombie in your apartment? Grab the shot gun and aim for a head shot? Seek out the voodoo witch doctor and make him break the spell? Barricade yourself in your bedroom and pray for salvation? Well, if you're John from the web comic Zombie Roomie, you'd probably join the zombie for breakfast and discuss Star Trek vs. Star Wars because the zombie is helping you pay the rent.

Filled with nerd humour, zombies, monsters, and the occasional celebrity cameo, Zombie Roomie is a comedy web comic by co-creators John Wigger (artist and creator) and Bill Mofield (primary writer). While their characters John and George the zombie went out for beers with Zedward (the Zed Word's faithful mascot), co-creators Wigger and Mofield stayed behind to answer a few questions.

Zed Word (ZW): What brought you two together to work on Zombie Roomie?

John Wigger (JW): Yeah, I met Bill through my [college] freshman resident adviser, as he was part of a role-playing game group that Bill was part of. So, being friends with Bill for more than a decade, I knew we had some similar tastes and found some of the same things to be funny.

John knows that when George and Zedward 

start drinking the night's not going to end well

I was looking for something to do to be productive and coming from an art background that was going to waste while just playing World of Warcraft. I thought of doing a webcomic. I had committed myself to doing a comic; I just hadn't come across the idea of what that comic was going to be. It was [during] a month or so of random ideas and trying to come up with jokes/premises for a very general comic that I came up with a gag that involved a zombie... and BAM, the ideas for jokes were coming in fast and furiously. I quickly decided that this zombie would need someone to play off of and that I couldn't have him just be a moaning, mindless walking corpse... he needed to have personality.

Bill Mofield (BM): When John mentioned that he was planning to start a web comic featuring a human/zombie odd-couple, I had a few ideas for scripts almost on the spot. John was receptive to having some outside input on the comic, so I penned a few zombie jokes and sent them to him. I enjoyed the challenge of trying to be consistently funny in a four-panel setting, and I seemed to have a flair for humorous dialogue.

JW: The early strips of Zombie Roomie were designed to set the tone and establish the characters and their roommate relationship. Some of the scripts that Bill sent me fit that very well, so I would put them in with little to no editing. Other times his strips would be good, but, the tone of the comic wasn't ready for them so we'd have to stick them away for a later date, including some of the strips that just recently ran (notably the voodoo priest bit).

I would write out the script for a strip and I started to bounce them off of Bill and he'd send me some changes and punch in some one-liners. Pretty quickly, I started to send him rougher and rougher scripts that basically just had the theme of the joke I was looking to get across for the particular strip.

BM: As time went on, I began contributing more and more often. Finally, John asked if I wanted to come on board as the primary writer for the strip, and I agreed.

(ZW): Considering the popularity of zombie media, what do you feel Zombie Roomie offers that is unique?

BM: Probably the most unique facet of Zombie Roomie is that it features a zombie with personality. It’s uncommon in the genre to encounter anything but mindless shamblers or rampaging engines of death. George may not be alive and just might eat your brain, but he’s not an indiscriminate killer or a slave to his hunger. George’s ability to think and reason allows him to be just as colorful a character as any other, which helps create a very fertile ground for humor.

JW: Yeah, very early on with creating George I wanted to make him pretty different than your run of the mill zombie, but I wanted him to retain some core concepts that were true to being a zombie... like being undead, eating flesh and organs of people, etc. But, I wanted him to be a full character and have personality to play off of others in the comic. There's also a hinted at organizational structure to zombie culture in the fact that they've unionized as mentioned in an early strip.

[A]rguably the best zombie media uses the zombie apocalypse as a veil to discuss something important; Romero did it with Night of the Living Dead to talk about Civil Rights and in Dawn of the Dead to talk about American consumerism. I'm not saying that we deal with issues that have the same gravitas as that, but using the zombie and other supernatural creatures to reflect on different 'cultural' interactions was in the back of my mind when I sat down to create the various characters.

ZW: Aside from zombie humour, there's a fair bit of nerd humour in your comic. What are your influences in writing and drawing Zombie Roomie?

JW: When I was trying to come up with the world that Zombie Roomie would take place in, I knew it would have to revolve around pop culture and the aspects of it that I find interesting, or it wouldn't feel honest. You always hear, “Write what you know.” So, since I'm into comic books, video games, horror flicks, and all other manner of fanboy fetish whatnots... it was going to be part of any comic I came up with.

As far as drawing influences, I would have to say I really look at Lar deSouza (Least I Could Do and Looking for Group), Scott Kurtz (PvP), and Mike Krahulik (Penny Arcade). I've really tried to push myself to get the characters to be far more emotive and “cartoony” in the last few months... and to do that I've really studied how Lar does what he does with his comics. Beyond those three web comic artists, there are tons of print comic artists and traditional artists that I really dig, so I'm sure that their influences seep into my style in some fashion.

BM: My influences are far too numerous to easily list, but if you can think of a nerd-oriented (or should it be nerd-centric?) past-time, it’s almost a certainty that I’ve indulged at some point. I think the same is true for John. We’re geeky beyond belief, and the nerd humor in Zombie Roomie is basically unavoidable. Since you can never be certain what someone else is going to find funny, the best bet for a writer is simply to build a joke that makes you laugh and hope it’s got a blast-wave large enough to include your audience in the collateral damage. One of the great things about building the strip in a collaborative manner is that you always have a sounding board for every gag; it helps weed out references that are too obscure or of too narrow appeal, which is a serious hazard when you’ve achieved a level of geekdom equal to John and me.

JW: Yeah, Bill is correct... I'm a giant dork too.

ZW: As Zombie Roomie develops, I've noticed you are adding more supporting characters. Was this always the plan or does the nature of the humour require more characters to interact with John and George.

JW: I always wanted to have the other supporting characters show up, yes. That's why they're there to support the main characters. I know it sounds silly, but that's their role. Plus, we get to have different attitudes to have various jokes that couldn't be done with John or George because it would be against their established character.

BM: It’s a bit of both. John and I always planned that a large number of supernatural creatures would be routinely featured in the strip. Vladimir (the vampire), Francis (Frankenstein's monster), Jack (the wolfman), and Glenda (the witch) have always been a part of the Zombie Roomie roster. Others, however, like Sean (the apartment superintendent) , Valerie (the hippie neighbor), and Jean-Paul (the voodoo priest) were more organically developed. These spontaneous creations range from a one-shot character so charming we decide to bring him back (Sean) to a more deliberate creation intended to drive a particular piece of humor (Jean-Paul). I think the more John and George develop, the more frequently you’ll see new characters appearing to challenge and motivate them.

JW: Also, I wanted to let the supporting cast show up after a period of time where we got to “know” George and John. It wasn't until the third week of the comic that we introduced another character to the cast (that being George's goth girlfriend, Zoey). The comic needed to focus on the relationship between John and George first. Then, as characters that the two main characters knew were brought in, we'd see how they'd interact with the established folk. It ended up being almost two months before the other supernatural creatures appeared in the strip and a while again before we touched back with them in additional strips.

ZW: Would you rather have a zombie roomie or a vampire roomie? Why or why not?

JW: I'm over six and a half feet tall and weighing in at three hundred pounds... so, I'm pretty sure either a zombie or vampire would consider me a super-sized meal and I wouldn't last very long in the company of either.

But, if there was the off-chance that I wasn't going to be a tasty treat for them, I'm thinking I'd pick a vampire to live with [because] zombies outside of Zombie Roomie aren't much for conversation or motor skills, so it'd be boring and co-op video games wouldn't go over well. That, and vampires are typically shown to be much cleaner and long lived, so they might have a treasure trove of riches that could cover some really swank pad.

BM: That’s a fairly tough question. I think my answer would depend on what brand of vampire fiction you’re drawing from. If I could pick a hip, cool, self-controlled vampire like Charlie Huston’s Joe Pitt, I’d definitely take the vampire. In fact, with a vampire as cool as Joe Pitt, I’m sure I’d quickly become the modern day equivalent of Stoker’s Renfield. If I had to live with one of the pathetic, whinging creations of Stephanie Meyer or Anne Rice, I’d rather feed myself to a zombie. It’s far better to be apocalypse fodder than run the risk of being turned into an Edward or Louis.

Zombie Roomie updates every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday @ http://www.zombieroomie.com

EAT ME to devour JAPAN

It has been announced that the zombie comedy EAT ME! (review), directed by Katie Carman, will be distributed on video in Japan this Summer. From the official press release:

Cold Hands Productions is proud to announce it's first feature film, the stoner zombie comedy "Eat Me!" has been picked up for distribution in Japan! Toyo Media working with Japan Video Distributors Ltd. will be releasing the film this summer as part of it's DEEP RED label.

The trailer for the film can be viewed at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5p5Dh--CcM

To learn more about the film and other licensing opportunities, please visit www.eatmefilm.com

College Class Performs Medieval Play with Zombies

Students from Gettysburg College in Gettysburg, PA will be performing a Medieval play featuring a uniquely modern twist: a zombie apocalypse!

According to an article on The Gettysburgian blog, the play is called "Judgement is Good." It's an adaptation and translation of Wakefield's "Last Judgement," a Medieval liturgical drama about the last days of the world in which God visits His final judgement on the living and the dead. This time, however, Professor Christopher Fee’s ENG 312: Medieval Drama class will set the story during a zombie apocalypse because the inclusion of zombies "enhances the element of translation that deals with the comedy of evil."

Comedy of evil proves an incredibly rich and vital hallmark of Medieval liturgical drama. Often employing anachronistic and vernacular references, comedy of evil helped make the Biblical narratives more relatable to the lives of Medieval audiences. At the same time, it reinforced an important contrast between the divinity of Christ and the worldliness of mortals corrupted by Satan’s influence.

As is often the case with the zombie apocalypse and other genres of modern horror films, gratuitous exhibition of villainous evils was a common and popular device exploited in Medieval texts like the Wakefield “Last Judgment.”

[via The Gettysburgian Blog]

Trailer Tuesday: Devil's Crossing (Zombie Western)

Zombie Fruit!

I want to see a whole movie about zombie fruit.

Resident Evil: Afterlife Trailer

Looks like a link has gone up for The Matrix 4 ... I mean  the Resident Evil 4 trailer.

TRAILER

Eh, I'm not impressed. Resident Evil, you are trying too hard.

However, it is nice to see the Reaper vampires from Blade II are still getting work.

Battle Girl (Review)

REVIEW

Battle Girl: The Living Dead 
in Tokyo Bay  (1991)

aka Batoru gâru

Director: Kazuo 'Gaira' Komizu

RATING:
1/5 zedheads



Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay (aka. Batoru gâru) is an incomprehensible dog's breakfast of film-making straight out of the Japan. Released in 1991, Synapse films has put the film on DVD this year for North America audiences. Lucky us. Not only has the film not aged well, but it's clearly a poor film to begin with. Pitiful special effects, a nonsensical plot, and shoddy pacing conspire to sink this film right to the bottom of the bay alluded to in the English title.

A meteor from space (as opposed to one of those meteors from the ocean) crashes into the bay of Tokyo, causing untold amounts off-screen devastation. Through exposition, we learn that the meteor has kicked up a black shield of toxic dust around the bay area. Those in the affected area have become infected with cosmo-amphetamine, a DNA-altering element that turns people into zombies after they die. In response, a force from the Japanese military has quarantined the area. Inside the quarantine zone, K-ko (Cutie Suzuki) is given instructions by another faction of the military to don an advanced Battle Suit and help save the survivors.

As clear as that synopsis may be, the film itself is convoluted as hell. Battle Girl has never heard of character introductions, apparently. When we first meet K-ko, we have no idea who she is, why she's receiving military instructions, or even if the military instructions are coming from the same military douche bags led by General Hugioka (Kenji Otsuki) that we saw earlier in the film demonstrate no restraint in killing innocent civilians. It's not until later we learn that she's working for her father who is leading a noble military rescue mission. On the other hand, General Hugioka is trying to create a race of zombie soldiers and is experimenting on survivors and refugees. K-ko is told that a group of people are hunting both humans and zombies within the quarantine zone. It turns out that these hunters, all of whom are female and dress like the WWF's Legion of Doom, are too working for General Hugioka. Again, none of this is clear until half-way through the film. Also introduced inexplicably into the film are the Battle Kids, apparent juvenile gunrunners who have managed in three days after the meteor strike to create a business and infrastructure for providing refugee camps with weapons. I guess in an apocalypse the Japanese are just way more efficient than the West. The Battle Kids eventually cross paths with K-ko. People fight, people die, and they turn into zombies. We know they're zombies because they jerk around and spit green goo from their mouths.

Speaking of green goo, this film reminds me a lot of the tone and aesthetic of Zombi 3 (review) and Zombie 4: After Death (review). All these films are shot with the same grainy film stock, use poorly lit sets to hide the shoddy zombie makeup and effects, and are sloppily edited. For example, there's a scene in which K-ko, augmented by the power of her battle suit, is holding up a guard against the wall by his throat -- but he's being held upside down. Kind of a cool visual to show how strong she is. However, when she lets go and he falls down the wall, you can plainly see the wire that was holding him up in the first place. Should have cut a bit sooner there, buddy. In other cases, cuts are made painfully too soon, such as when a cut is made that interrupts the score in mid-melody.

The whole production is over-acted with really poor choreography, lifeless characters, and the thinnest of plots. You're not going to find a gem of Asian cult cinema in Battle Girl, not even if you watch it ironically.

Down by the bay
Where the undead zombies moan
Back to my home
I dare not go
Cuz if I do
My mother will say,
"Have you ever seen a DVD
That could make you this sleepy?"
Down by the bay!

Resident Evil: Afterlife Stills

A little while back, five new stills for the next film in the Resident Evil franchise were released.  

Click picture for more!

[via Myspace]

Resident Evil: Afterlife is purported to be the last film in the Resident Evil series that started with the Milla Jovovich film in 2002. Apparently, the studio wants to reboot the franchise and start from the beginning.

Survival of the Dead -- Red Band Trailer

Get a peek at some of the gorey bits from Romero's new film Survival of the Dead (review)

Robert Pattinson tapped for Creature from the Black Lagoon [APRIL FOOLS]

EXCLUSIVE! BREAKING NEWS!

Twilight hunk Robert Pattison has been tapped to play the titular creature in Universal's upcoming remake of Creature from the Black Lagoon according to exclusive sources within the studio.

Director Carl Erik Rinsch has said that the remake will be "very faithful to the original, but updated", and that the Gill-man will still be "sympathetic." When asked who would play the Gill-man, Rinsch told our anonymous source, "The most beloved and sympathetic actor in horror films today is undeniably Robert Pattinson. He's agreed to play the creature and step into the legacy of the Gill-man suit. Pattinson will bring his undeniable charisma and physicality to the role, so I think fans young and old will fall in love with our version of the film. The original was always a love story at its heart, so we're just highlighting the fact for a modern audience. Think Twilight meets The Little Mermaid."

The Universal Pictures project will direct in 2010 but is still casting for a female lead. Based on the success of the Grammy-award winning Creature from the Black Lagoon musical, producers are reportedly revising the script to include more musical numbers and are therefore casting for young actresses with musical talent. Reports indicate that Miley Cyrus (The Last Song) is in talks to star opposite Pattison.

"We also want to shoot the film in 3D," claims a Universal executive who asked to remain anonymous. "Avatar did boffo at the boxoffice, and after the critical flop of our Wolfman remake, we think 3D will really put us on the map for next year's Oscar season. If you ever wanted see a singing Robert Pattison in a 3D fish suit, Creature for the Black Lagoon 2010 is for you."

When reached for comment, Twilight star Robert Pattison had this to say: "What the fuck, man?"

More details as they become available!

NEW MOON -- NEW BLOG! (APRIL FOOLS!)

OMG U GUYS!

I hope you guys like the new site design. I have an exciting change to announce! I know some of you will totally be surprised and maybe a little mad, but a friend showed me these really awesome new horror movies (Twilight and New Moon, have you heard of them?) and I am like totally hooked on them now. Just like Bella felt when Edward left her in New Moon, I can't keep my love for these amazing movies a secret -- it is totally strong and powerful -- like EPIC!

Therefore as of today The Zed Word zombie blog is now The Edward Twilight blog. 

I mean, come on you guys, zombies are sooooooo last decade. Who were we kidding? You may have noticed the blog was a little slow lately, but really that's because there are just no good zombie movies or books coming out these days. Seriously. When's the last time a good zombie movie came out? 1993's My Boyfriend's Back? We have to face it: Zombies are lame and always will be lame.

The Twilight movies, however, are cutting-edge nouveau horror. You see, the story is about these things called "vampires" and "werewolves"in some place called "Oregon" (maybe you've heard of them?). They get really mad at each other and then really fall in love but the love is so sad and tragic but soooooooo true and oh my god!!! You just have to see them.They sparkle and have super-hot abs When's the last time a zombie had super hot abs?

Zombies drool, Twilight rules!

I feel like, for the first time, I've found a soulmate in these DVDs. They really speak to me about true love and stuff, also werewolves. And Edward's hair. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

OMG! My friend just told me there are Twilight books!!?!?! Can u believe it? That's amazing When'd that happen? Trust me, this Twilight stuff is going to be a saga -- bigger than that musty old Lord of the Rings or that lame old Star Wars.



Just like Bella loves Edward for-ev-er, I can't wait to share my new love for Twilight with all of you on my new and definitely improved blog. Expect a lot of changes, new reviews, and new links in the future!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Isn't that the bestest?

(i'm so sorry)