May 31, 2010

Man Bites Zombie: Zombie Meat

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Ever wanted to take a bite out of the zombie horde?

With this Japanese ZOMBIE MEAT, now you can.



Looking like jerky, this Zombie Meat has that perfect Dawn of the Dead blue-gray hue.

According to Geekosystem.com:
This sweet, sweet revenge meal costs 399 yen, which comes out to about $4.50. Though I’ve got to say, that zombie up there has some psychedelic hair. Let’s spare that one and eat the rest.

May 27, 2010

Attack of the Vegan Zombies (Review)

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REVIEW
Attack of the 
Vegan Zombies (2010)

Director: Jim Townsend

RATING:

2 / 5 zedheads




Horror from the grape vine that lacks balance and body but still manages a professional aroma despite its budgetary limits and odd performances.

Does Attack of the Vegan Zombies want to be a spoof of B-movies, a satire of the zombie genre, or a genuine attempt at a frightening zombie film? I really can't tell you because Attack of the Vegan Zombies is unable to settle on a tone. As a result, the story waffles between hollow B-movie camp and forced attempts at drama. While the plot is frustrating to watch as it unfolds, and several characters are completely unbearable, Attack of the Vegan Zombies is a very good looking movie that stands as a testament to the production quality achievable by today's creative independent filmmakers.

On a vineyard, Dionne (Christine Egan) and her husband Joe (writer/director Jim Townsend) are struggling to raise a crop after several seasons of disappointment. One more year of failure and they will be financially ruined. Joe is already so defeated he's falling back into alcoholism, so Dionne turns to her mother (H. Lynn Smith) in an effort to save the farm and winery. Dionne's mother, you see, comes from a long line of powerful witches. Although Dionne turned her back on her mother's mystical ways in the past, Dionne's mother reluctantly agrees to cast a spell to help them. A year later, they have the best crop of their lives! There's so much crop that they hire four college students and their teacher to help harvest the grapes. Unfortunately, something is terribly wrong with the grape vines and people begin to turn into green-faced zombies with an insatiable thirst for wine -- the wine in the blood of their victims.

Although the film is titled Attack of the Vegan Zombies, the zombies aren't really vegans; they're alcoholics. Also, with a title like Attack of the Vegan Zombies, you'd expect something over-the-top and silly in tone like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Attack of the Vegan Zombies, however, begins on a very earnest and ominous note. Joe is tending to his dying fields while tense ambient sound design and quick cuts to shots of dead birds begin to establish an effective atmosphere of dread. Jim Townsend and Christine Egan also give some very believable performances at the beginning of the movie. Egan in particular really sold me on her character, making the ridiculous and matter-of-fact introduction of witches and witchcraft believable. She was the rock of this movie -- a touchstone that kept me interested when I didn't care for other character interactions.


When we fast-forward to one year later, the movie takes a severe nose dive. After giving the impression that Attack of the Vegan Zombies, contrary to its name, is going to be a serious film, we're introduced to two college nerds and two cheerleaders whose characterizations skew the movie into the ridiculous. They feel like characters from an entirely different movie. For one thing, the two nerds look like they got lost on their way to a 1980s casting call for Revenge of the Nerds. Think big glasses, flip-up sunglasses clipons, pocket protectors, and high-pitched nasal whines.Watt Smith as Louis is particularity grating. The cheerleaders are no better. Vapid and poorly acted, their only real reason for being in the movie is for lazy sex jokes and a nude lesbian scene apropos of nothing. I'm willing to forgive the hokey zombie makeup (green face paint) and the cheesy effects (moving vines on a stick attached to camera), but these four characters are atrocious. I think we have to conclude that this movie is no longer to be taken seriously, right?

Then why does the film continue to develop a serious subplot about the conflict between Dionne, her mother, and her husband? We learn that the mother has been keeping secrets. In the aftermath of their revelation, there are several scenes of Dionne, her mother, and her husband dramatically hashing it out -- to the point that one character tells them to stop their "family therapy bullshit." But this family subplot is definitely more interesting than what's occurring with the off-screen zombies and is 100% more interesting than anything involving the nerds and cheerleaders. So, I have to ask: am I supposed to take this movie seriously or not?

Too bad the film couldn't iron out a consistent tone because, from a production values standpoint, the film looks good. Hokey low-budget effects aside, there's a very professional feel to the cinematography and framing of the scenes. The audio quality rarely falters, the picture quality is clear, and the editing is consistently effective. The sound design is heavy-handed at times, but if the film were made to be actually scary then the music would probably work better.

I'm interested in seeing what Jim Townsend brings us in the future, but I would suggest that for future projects he stay away from campy humour. Attack of the Vegan Zombies would have made for a great short film after a name-change and excising the nerd and cheerleader characters.

If you want a copy of  
Attack of the Vegan Zombies
you can purchase an affordable copy at www.attackoftheveganzombies.com 
or on Amazon.com for a few bucks more.

May 26, 2010

The Subversion of Catholicism in Italian Zombie Cinema @ The Vault of Horror

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The Vault of Horror has a really insightful post about how Italian zombie films, hailing from one of the most Catholic countries on earth, subvert the themes and iconography of Catholicism to create horror and disgust.

READ: The Subversion of Catholicism in Italian Zombie Cinema
 

If it piques your interest for Italian zombie films, you may also want to check out my coverage of Zombi, Zombi 3, Zombie 4: After Death, and Zombie 5: Killing Birds, and Cemetery Man that I wrote as part of ZOMBIE ITALIANO week.




May 24, 2010

Slow, Romero! Slow!

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While I've been engrossed in helping produce SCREAMWAVE, a weekly podcast from Horror in the Hammer, several news stories about George A. Romero hit the web that I neglected to comment on.

First, we learned that Romero is planning to continue making films in the continuity established by Diary of the Dead and Survival of the Dead (review) by shooting at least two more Dead projects, perhaps even filming them back-to-back. Second, it was also revealed that Romero is in talks to direct a 3D remake of Deep Red, a 1975 film by Romero's friend and previous collaborator Dario Argento.

So, it seems like Romero certainly has a lot of projects on his plate. Is this a good thing?

I'm not one of those people who seem compelled to rag on Romero because he's an old filmmaker. A lot of fans on message boards are quick to charge that Romero has jumped the shark and is no longer relevant. I get the impression that most of these criticisms come from the fact that Romero has never repeated his critical and cultural success in the fandom that he achieved with Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead. This, I feel, is completely unfair. Who but the most genius and rare artists create nothing but classic works? I love Romero for creating the zombie genre and making some of the most seminal works in zombie film, but I'd never call him a genius. Yet, for every mediocre or bad film he's made, Romero also made something entertaining or insightful. His track record is better than most, yet he can't seem to catch a break with horror fans -- especially some zombie fans -- who seem to love him for the past but dismiss him for the future. Many of these fans, I suspect, want every one of Romero's zombie pictures to be another Dawn of the Dead.

At the same time, I'm not Romero apologist. When I see problems in his films, I don't shy away from noting them. Although I have not yet reviewed it for The Zed Word zombie blog, I hated Diary of the Dead. I think that film is fundamentally indefensible from a story-telling perspective. Of his modern output -- Bruiser (2000), Land of the Dead (2005), Diary of the Dead (2007), and Survival of the Dead (2009)-- only one of those films would I consider a "bad" film. Diary is indefensible whereas Land of the Dead and Survival of the Dead are well-made movies if lacking in the character department. Bruiser is a film that I wrestle with, but I would probably call it one of Romero's missteps.

So, I'm not worried that Romero has been reduced to making failed films. I am, however, worried that if he continues to turn out films at such a quick pace then the films will suffer (the time between each new film is growing shorter and shorter). Let's face it; Romero's strength is not in his writing but in his directing and editing. The script is the major fault with parts of Survival and all of Diary. Whether this is from too few revisions or simply the absence of a co-writer and collaborator, Romero's films will continue to suffer into the future, I fear. I know that Romero is finally in a position where he is in creative and financial control of his Dead series. Although many people know that Night of the Living Dead went public domain upon its release, casual fans do not realize Romero doesn't own the rights to his previous zombie films either; thus, he does not profit greatly from them. Now he can. I just think that if he doesn't slow down the pace of production, his films will continue to meet with critical dismissal and diminishing returns.

Oddly enough, however, I'm quite excited for a Romero remake of Deep Red. If you've read some of my other editorial posts, you know I am very skeptical of horror remakes, yet in this case I can't help but be interested. Out of fifteen of Romero's directorial feature films, four have been remade by Hollywood. Maybe I'm being naive, but I like to think that Romero will approach this project with greater care since he has experienced what it's like to lose creative control of a project and also have his works remade to turn a higher profit than the originals. In addition, he and Dario Argento are friends and prior collaborators. Argento helped make Dawn of the Dead a success in Europe, and both Argento and Romero worked together on Two Evil Eyes.

When I was at the Festival of Fear as part of FanExpo 2007, I remember being in the line to meet Romero. Argento had a both nearby. When Argento arrived, Romero told everyone in his line that he was very sorry and would be right back, but he had to go over to meet his friend Dario who he had not seen in many years. It was a really neat experience to see what, to me, looked like genuine friendship among horror creators at a convention. At conventions, in my experience, you don't really see the guests mingle with one another when they're not there promoting the same project. Sometimes they don't look happy to be there at all. When I think about Romero remaking Deep Red, I think about him going over to Argento at FanExpo and giving him a hug.

Perhaps their past work together and friendship will help produce a remake that's not as soulless as the majority of horror remakes being offered by Hollywood today.

Then again, like most horror plots that start off with the best intentions, it could turn into a nightmare.

 Festival of Fear-- FanExpo 2007 (L-R): Dario Argento, 
Stuart 'Feedback' Andrews, George A. Romero.

May 19, 2010

Zombies and Windows 7

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The new Windows 7 commercial predominately features zombies. It even goes so far as to use the famous zombie vs. shark scene from Zombi 2 (review)

May 15, 2010

Avatar 2: Pandora of the Undead (aka. Na'vi Zombies)

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So, I've seen Avatar. I went to the theater to see it with my father and my brother during my Christmas holiday. The movie gets a lot of flack, but it's fun, disposable entertainment. I give it more of a pass than other big event films (such as dreck like Transformers 2) because unlike most big event movies Avatar is not a big, dumb, mean-spirited and nihilistic experience. I like that it actually shows the triumph of the human spirit. With that said, I'm going to suggest that if James Cameron wants to make even MORE money in the sequel to Avatar then he should go the mean-spirited, nihilistic route by including ZOMBIES!


Everything is better with zombies.

Just think of the potential. What would happen if the humans behind the Na'vi avatars became infected with a neural zombie virus from space? Would it also contaminate their Na'vi avatars with whom they share a genetic and mental link? Furthermore, would the virus then mutate to Na'vi life forms and spread through bites as well as the cerebral links they have with the entire friggin' moon to create an entire world of zombies? 7 foot tall blue flesh eating corpses! Now that's a concept just waiting for the 3D treatment.

So who's with me? Let's petition James Cameron to make Avatar 2: Pandora of the Undead a reality. I already have some potential designs for the Na'vi zombies ready to go. If you want that Best Picture Oscar next year Cameron, give me a call!
















May 13, 2010

Learn How to Speak Zombie @ ZomBcon

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A little while ago, I reviewed the book How to Speak Zombie by Steve Mockus and Travis Millard (review). It's fun, and if you're going to ZomBcon in Seattle then you'll get your own chance to learn the fine art of zombie lingusistics.

ZomBcon has announced a How to Speak Zombie Workshop with Steve Mockus during the convention (Oct 29-31).

May 10, 2010

SCREAMWAVE #2

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The screams keep on rolling when Aaron and Kris delve into their night terrors for a review of A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010). Then they go to "Earth and Beyond"
in search of the truth behind the Myakka Skunk Ape photos.


DIRECT DOWNLOAD (49:30)
SUBSCRIBE on iTUNES

Original music by Nathan Fleet (www.nathanfleet.com)

Show Notes
Horror in the Hammer
Loren Coleman: Myakka
Skunk Ape Photos

Bigfootencounters:
Tracking Myakka's Wily Skunk Ape (Hoax)

Cryptomundo
The Zed Word: Zombie Blog
Monster Chiller Horror Theatre
Kristopher’s Portfolio

May 9, 2010

Zombies & Toys: Undead Bazaar

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 Zombies & Toys is hosting an UNDEAD BAZAAR.


Throughout May, Zombies & Toys is putting the spotlight on undead and zombie-related dolls, paintings, sculptures, jewelry, clothing, coloring books, and other craft works. It's like a fair craft show but with more corpses.

If you see something you like,chances are you may be able to get a discount as a Zombies & Toys reader.

So shuffle on over to the UNDEAD BAZAAR. You never know what you're going to find -- or what will find you!

May 7, 2010

SCREAMWAVE #1

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I'm on a horror podcast now. Through Horror in the Hammer, I'm a co-host of a new horror podcast called SCREAMWAVE. In our first episode, we discuss Clive Barker’s classic horror film Hellraiser (1987). Then in our “Earth and Beyond” segment, Kris and I discuss the Philadelphia Experiment, a conspiracy theory / urban legend regarding alleged scientific experiments involving the USS Elridge in 1943.

SUBSCRIBE on iTUNES

Music by Nathan Fleet (www.nathanfleet.com)

Show Notes

Horror in the Hammer

The Zed Word: Zombie Blog

Monster Chiller Horror Theatre

Kristopher’s Portfolio

May 6, 2010

[REC] and Ruin: Two New Sequels Announced

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Oh no, here we go. The Spanish [REC] film franchise has been possessed with sequel fever!


Variety is reporting that Filmax has approved development of two new sequels to [REC] 2 (review). According to the article, each of the subsequent sequels will be directed by one of the original film-making team: Paco Plaza for [REC] Genesis Jaume Balaguero for [REC] Apocalypse.

First off, why are they going with two of the shittiest no-brainer sequel tags in the zombie genre? [REC] is starting to sound more like the Resident Evil franchise, not to mention every other low-rent zombie flick, with titles like those. [REC] Genesis is slated for February 2011 while [REC] Apocalypse will hit later in 2012.

On the one hand, I honestly don't know how much steam this franchise has left. Can it really sustain two more sequels? I loved [REC], which in an act of complete negligence I've actually failed to review here on The Zed Word, but I was not a fan of its sequel, [REC] 2. I called it a "tired, noisy, charmless let-down" of a film.

On the other hand, I'd rather have numerous [REC] sequels than one Quarantine sequel. Quarantine is the tepid copy-cat North American remake of [REC]. If someone is going to go crazy with sequels, I'd rather it be the original creative team and not North American hacks.

ZOMBCON + SIFF: SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD screening

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ZOMBCON, the zombie convention running Oct 29-31, has teamed up with the Seattle International Film Festival to bring you a midnight screening of George A. Romero's SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD following a zombie happy hour party! Here's the skinny from their website:

DON’T FORGET: YOU MUST BE DRESSED UP AS A ZOMBIE TO GET INTO THE PARTY

EVENT TIME LINE

10pm – ZomBcon Happy Hour Party – Boom Noodle (Capitol Hill) Google Map Link: 1121 East Pike Street

11PM – ZOMBIE WALK – Boom Noodle to Egyptian Theater

12AM (Midnight) The film will be screening on Friday May 21 at 12am (MIDNIGHT) at The Egyptian theater in Capitol Hill.

HOW DO I GET TICKETS?
To guarantee your seat for the screening, tickets go on sale starting on Thursday, May 6th online at www.siff.net. Tickets are just $11.

ZomBcon will be holding a  ticket giveaways on Facebook in the next few weeks and for those who love a great deal and a discount, can take their chances held at the Egyptian for just $9 starting at noon.

Go to ZomBcon’s Official website and watch our Fan page for updates, news, and fun giveaways. 

May 5, 2010

WIN Valley of the Dead @ Undead in the Head

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UNDEAD IN THE HEAD is running a contest to give away an autographed copy of Kim Paffenroth's VALLEY OF THE DEAD
 Working from Dante’s Inferno to draw out the reality behind the fantasy, author Kim Paffenroth unfolds the horrifying true events that led Dante to fictionalize the account of his lost years ...

For seventeen years of his life, the exact whereabouts of the medieval Italian poet Dante Alighieri are unknown to modern scholars. It is known that during this time he traveled as an exile across Europe, working on his epic poem, The Divine Comedy. In his masterpiece he describes a journey through the three realms of the afterlife. The most famous of its three volumes, Inferno, describes hell.

During his lost wanderings, Dante stumbled upon an infestation of the living dead. The unspeakable acts he witnessed—cannibalism, live burnings, evisceration, crucifixion, and dozens more—became the basis of all the horrors described in Inferno. Afraid to be labeled a madman, Dante made the terrors he experienced into a more “believable” account of an otherworldly adventure filled with demons and mythological monsters.

But at last, the real story can finally be told.

 Check out the contest @ UNDEAD IN THE HEAD

May 4, 2010

Night of the Comet (Review)

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REVIEW

Night of the Comet  (1984)

Director: Thom Eberhardt

RATING:
3/5 zedheads





Night of the Comet starts off as a fun tongue-in-cheek homage to cheesy science fiction disaster films, but the zombie aspect of the plot leads the story into a confusing and awkward and -- sad to say -- boring finale.

For the first time in 65 million years, a rare comet passes into Earth's orbit. In Los Angeles, people gather to watch and celebrate the comet's passing just before Christmas. 18-year-old Regina (played by Canadian-born Catherine Mary Stewart) is more interested in avoiding her bitchy step-mother and shirking her duties at the El Rey movie theatre to preserve her high score at the arcade game booth and hang out with her boyfriend in the projection booth. When she spends the night with her boyfriend in the steel-lined projection booth, Regina is spared the terrible fate that befalls everyone exposed to the comet. All those caught in the comet's energy either disintegrate into dust or slowly degenerate into violent zombies before they too turn to dust. When Regina clues into the global disaster, she finds her sister Samantha (Kelli Maroney), meets up with a young trucker named Hector (Robert Beltran), and eventually comes into conflict with a group of surviving scientists with dubious plans.

 Regina's hair almost qualifies as a co-star.

The best part of this movie is watching Regina and Samantha. On the one hand, they're funny as realistically typical suburban Valley Girls. They're not Clueless Valley Girls, but they're still interested in fashion, boys, being young and having fun. Kelli Maroney as Samantha is especially cute in her youthful and flippant attitude. They're more charming than annoying. On the other hand, Regina and Samantha are also capable action heroes. Trained by their military father, Regina and Samantha know self-defense and how to handle firearms. Regina, in particular, kicks some ass in this movie. It's refreshing to see female characters who are action heroes without over-exploiting their sexuality or maternal qualities.

 Cheerleaders with guns? Now that's an apocalypse!

The real flaw of this film is the zombies. It's never really explained what the zombies are after. When people are exposed to the comet but do not automatically disintegrate, they start to turn into insane sunken-eyed ghouls who are inexplicably violent. We see one homeless zombie eating flesh but no other flesh-eating in the film. We see a zombie child (who I suspect is actually a little person ala Burial Ground) and a few zombie scientists, but I can't figure out what they add to the story. They could have just played this film straight as a post-apocalyptic film where people are afraid of disintegration or exposure (because that's what the majority of the scenes are already about). The zombies add almost nothing to the movie. The best zombie scenes turn out to be dream sequences anyways, so what was the point? It slows down the movie and introduces a convoluted plot that the film doesn't even attempt to explain well.

I never thought I'd say it, but this film needed less zombies. As it stands, it's a somewhat charming science-fiction adventure film, but its zombie horror elements are more of a hindrance.
 What? Is there something on my face?

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