June 11, 2011

I Want to Eat All the Brains (eHarmony Cat Lady Spoof)

I want to eat all of them.

You may have seen the hilarious eHarmony Cat Lady video from Youtube user hartmanncara. It got me thinking about how easily a Zombie could also get distracted and emotional when talking about its favorite thing. For some, it's cats. For others, it's brains. 

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

Hello, my name is Zombie. This is my first attempt at an eHarmony video. This is my first time at online dating, actually, so I'm nervous and excited at the same time. So, ummm, I'm just going to start talking about what I like and hope I get some replies.

Okay. I am one of the recently infected from the Monroeville area. I love....brains. Umm...I just.....

Sorry. I'm getting distracted. I love brains, ummmm....I love every kind of brain. Sorry...I just....really...love....brains.


I just want to eat all of them, but I can't because that's crazy. I can't eat EVERY brain. But I just want to. I want to. I want to.

I'm sorry, I just get...every time I hear "brains," I ... just love brains.

So, anyway, I am a BRAIN EATER and I love to shamble.

......

I'm sorry. I'm thinking about brains again.

I just...I think about how many brains are out there encased in bone and how I should have them ..... and how tasty they are with their hemispheres and their pons and their lobes......

I just LOVE THEM and I WANT THEM, and I want them baked and fried and I want them to be on a menu and just in my mouth... and I just want a house full of them, and I just want us to roll around.

I... I can't. I just can't..... 

[END TRANSCRIPT]