|Winchester Tavern pint class from Fearwerx|
Step 1: Have a nice cold pintLet's be honest. While I watch a lot of zombie movies, read a lot of zombie books, and read many zombie survival guides, I'm the furthest thing from a survivalist you're likely to meet. I'm an out of shape, easily panicked, poorly skilled, and chronically short-sighted procrastinator who can't go without an internet connection or a steady stream of pizza and Netflix. I'd have all the luck of Ben and Captain Rhodes combined when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.
Step 2: Wait for all of this to blow over.
I'm not worried, though. While the zombie apocalypse is inevitable, there's no sense getting worked up over survival planning that I know I'm not ever going to follow through with anyway. Did I mention that I'm also a pessimist self-rationalizer?
So, when the ground begins to give up its dead and hordes of zombies terrorize my neighborhood, I'm just going to pull out a cold one, kick back, and wait for them to shamble through my door. After all, if you can't be bothered to beat them, then I guess the least I could do is roll over and join them.
As long as that's not too much effort.