Dawn of the Mummy (1981)
Director: Frank Agrama
1.5 / 5 zedheads
If you're a child of the 1980s, you probably remember seeing the poster art for Dawn of the Mummy or one of its highly effective trailers. Like me, you may have thought to yourself, "Killer mummies and flesh-eating zombies in the same movie? I'm in!"
Well, I hope I'm not the first to burst your nostalgic bubble by telling you that Dawn of the Mummy is a steamy coil of cinematic boredom. Despite some choice scenes of zombie carnage at the end of the film, Dawn of the Mummy isn't so much a movie as it is a chore.
|All right, already. Shove a sock in it, will you, lady? We get it: "The toooomb! The toooomb!"|
|Modelling the hottest neckerchiefs and vests from the 1981 Tomb Raider's Catalogue|
George Peck, who plays Rick the lead robber, chews up the scenery like a madman while boggling the camera with the largest pair of crazy-eyes I've ever seen. If Rick is to Fred of Scooby-Doo, then Karib (Ibrahim Khan) is the Shaggy of this grave-robbing mystery machine. Despite those wide, crazy eyes of his, Rick doesn't foresee his plans going awry by putting the bumbling Karib on watch, but as luck should have it, a group of New York fashion models driving through the Egyptian desert stumble upon his little dig when Karib starts shooting at them. Running contrary to all grave-robber logic, Rick decides to let the models use the tomb as their new shooting location.
|Is this makeup for a fashion shoot or a hockey game?|
This cast of vapid young actors playing the models and photographers are so annoying and clearly marked as mummy food that they don't command much need for description. Yet, as uninteresting as they may be, the movie's explanation for why they and they alone cause the mummy to reanimate is a slice of low-budget, bone-headed nonsense. It's the heat of the set lights that finally cause the mummy to wake. Despite the heat of the desert, the loud demolition of his tomb, and the tromping about of catty models and stuck-up photographers, like a photo-sensitive drunk stumbling towards the blinds on the morning of a tasty hangover, it's the lights that gets the mummy moving.
|Mummy always taught me to turn off the lights before leaving a room|
|And you thought getting sand in your shoe sucked|
|How do you improve Dawn of the Mummy? The answer is cleaver. Cut the fat!|
|The only brains on display in this movie are eaten.|
|All You Can Eat or your "mummy" back|
|Curse you, thermodynamics!|
Dawn of the Mummy can be found on DVD in North America courtesy of Madacy Entertainment. The picture quality is from a dubious VHS transfer with sketchy sound. As special features, the DVD includes a trailer for Road Ends and a director commentary that I can't be bothered to listen to.