COCKNEYS vs. ZOMBIES (2012)
Director: Matthias Hoene
3.5 / 5 zedheads
I've never been to the east end of London, let alone any part of London or the UK, but after watching the Canadian Premiere of Cockneys vs. Zombies at the Toronto After Dark Film Festival, I think I have a pretty good idea what to expect of its cockney residents:
- At some point, someone will call me a "Muppet" or a "Monkey"
- I won't be able to understand what anyone says when they yell
- In the case of the zombie apocalypse, I'll be in fairly good hands
|What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster?|
A zombie infection spreads through the heart of East London after a construction crew unearths a mysterious crypt in director Matthias Hoene's gore-drenched crime-adventure-comedy-horror movie mashup. At the same time the east enders of London are being turned into flesh-eating ghouls, a group of unaware bank-robbing brothers (Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway) and their bumbling friends make off with more than they bargained for in an attempt to save their granddad's (Alan Ford) retirement home.
|Nothing takes care of a zombie better than a boot to the gob|
At Cockneys vs. Zombies, you're going to laugh and you're going to cheer. It's a supremely funny movie with plenty of gags (both comedic and ghastly). For zombie and horror-comedy fans, it's incredibly satisfying to watch in the moment. With a large ensemble cast of talented actors, Cockneys vs. Zombies succeeds for the same reason a film like Ocean's 11 succeeds: variety. The supporting crew of colourful characters on the bank-robbing team such as the clueless Davey Tuppance (Jack Doolan) and psychopathic Mental Mickey (Ashley Bashy Thomas) or the elderly comic relief at the retirement home like Hamish (Richard Briers) bring the bulk of the film's funny. Unfortunately, they tend to be the kind of characters that die first. The remaining cast is simply not as funny or interesting at this point (Michelle Ryan is painfully underused) and the premise begins to spin its wheels. Alan Ford appears in his most kick-ass role since Snatch and proves the older generation still know how to kick zombie ass, but Cockneys vs. Zombies more or less shoots itself in the foot by offing its most endearing characters.
|Geezers and Guns|
Despite the premise of Cockneys vs. Zombies running out of steam a little more than half-way through, there are plenty of amazing and gratuitous zombie kills. Cockneys vs. Zombies really embraces the outlandish trend in modern zombie comedies with gusto. If you love truly spectacular zombie kills, there are more than a few in Cockneys vs. Zombies.
|Shock and Awe|
The only way Cockneys vs. Zombies left me truly cold was in the zombie and gun effects department. Many of the zombies are simply pale-faced with blood smeared around their mouths, not unlike most people (me included) who create their own makeup before a Zombie Walk. I know the filmmakers put out a call for self-dressed zombie extras, and I suspect many of them made it on camera. It's not that they look bad, but they don't look great. Further indicative of the film's independent-sized budget, most if not all the gun effects (muzzle flashes, for example) or digital, and they become very noticeable as the film winds down into its fire-arm filled conclusion.
With an audience, Cockneys vs. Zombies is a riot! With plenty of laughs, blood, and cockney sass, Cockneys vs. Zombies finds fresh ground in the zombie-comedy genre, but for this reviewer at least Cockneys vs. Zombies is likely to play better with a theatre full of zombie fans than alone at home on repeated viewings.
|Keep Calm and Shoot On|